A few weeks ago, we met up with some fellow wedding vendors from the area and had dinner while talking about what it’s like working in the wedding biz. We swapped stories of the strangest things people have said to us and weird things that have happened at weddings. We came to the conclusion that there is something about weddings, births and funerals that make people feel entitled to no longer having to be humane towards others.
It’s normally not the couples themselves that make comments or do strange things, it’s usually the guests! And a lot of the time, as the bride + groom, you’re going to be the one who is told said comment orrr hear about it later and have to put the fire out! The best way to handle it is just to remember what we said above- weddings make people do weird stuff. That person probably wasn’t meaning to be a pain, they just lost all of their brain cells when they walked into the venue hahah.
Here’s the one line that “should” solve your problems:
“Hey Aunt Cheryl! Thank you so much for coming here to support Evan and I’s big day! *Add personal detail* We hope you enjoy yourself and mingle while we take care of a few more last minuet things!”
People typically can’t have a mean comment in response to a statement like that!
Why does this work?
- You showed them that you appreciate that they made an effort to see you.
- You reminded them that it’s not their day.
- “Last minute things” will get you out of that awkward conversation.
“Oh sweetie, it’s too cold right now? Why are you getting married during this freezing month?”
“Hey Aunt Cheryl! Thank you so much for coming here to support Evan and I’s big day! We met at a ski hill so winter is a special time to us, the snow is so magical! We hope you enjoy yourself and mingle while we take care of a few more last minute things!”
“Oh my gosh, the makeup artist made me look like a stripper.. this makeup is way too much. I didn’t even want makeup, I never wear it. I can’t walk outside with this on- I HAVE to fix it!”
“Awww Krista, I’m so glad you can be here to support ME for my wedding! I actually really like your makeup, finding someone who could get all of my bridesmaids ready was harder and more expensive than I thought it would be, but I just love this girls instagram page, she does amazing work. I hope the rest of the day is so much fun for you and all of my favorite my girls! Will you go check on Aunt Cheryl? I have to do this thing really quick!”
“Are you seriously about to go take MORE pictures?! Didn’t you already take pictures with everyone after the ceremony?”
“Hey Uncle Mike! Thanks so much for being here! Did we already get a picture together? Pictures are sooo important to Chris and I, we want to remember our day forever! Go find Aunt Cheryl and enjoy yourself- we’ll be done in one sec!”
*middle of walking down the aisle
“Theres my favorite guy! Congrats on your big day, it sure is hot out here isn’t it? Did you know that my penny stock crashed yesterday? It was a doozy.”
“Hey weird cousin Chad, I’m literally walking down the aisle. GO AWAY AND LET ME DO MY THING!”
Just kidding. Don’t say that. But I know you’ll want to.
I am willing to bet you all my money that you are going to hear a variation of these statements on your wedding day.
Just remember this day is about you and your significant others’ LOVE. No one else. I think we all hold ourselves to unspoken “rules” that we think revolve around weddings. But guess what? There isn’t a secret royal legal law book of what has to fly at weddings and if one of those unspoken rules is broken you’re going to go to wedding jail. The only “rule” is that the day goes how you want it to and if anyone else disagrees with it, they don’t have to be a part of it.
Don’t let your guests boss you around. You can be nice about it, but you don’t have to take other peoples’ problems and make it your own. Your wedding is a day where your focus should be on getting married- that’s it. Everything else is just extra! Don’t let other people make you get caught up in the extra.