Hey, Austin here!
A lot of wedding advice targets brides and their decisions. That can leave grooms feeling lost on what their role is. For myself that’s how I felt. Was I doing too much? Was I doing too little? What was my responsibility? Do I help pick the colors, or the decorations?
These were all questions that I had when Sar and I got married. This Wedding Advice Wednesday is centered around grooms and their responsibilities.
Before we get into it, know that nothing will trump having this conversation with your fiancé about different expectations for each significant other. Communication is the only way you’ll get through the engagement period so learn that fast and learn it well! Now lets get to the good stuff:
Suits – Ties – Shoes
Your suit needs to fit well! Make sure you actually TRY IT ON and if needed, get it fitted to you! In Sarah’s words, “A well fitted suit is basically a man’s lingerie.” The color of your suit also matters! A lot of times you’ll need to base it off the colors of the wedding. For example my colors were navy blue and blush pink, my suit was navy blue and my tie had floral accents of pink. You can find some cool unique ties on Etsy and DAZI. Also, a couple of side notes about your suit: never button the bottom button, and please for all that is good in this world take your phone and keys out of your pockets (esp. during the ceremony and pictures).
You can thank me later for this next piece of advice: Before your wedding day break in your wedding shoes! Or at least wear them a couple of times! You’ll basically be standing for the entire day so make sure they’re comfortable! Also, get shoes you’ll wear again! The shoes I wore for my wedding go well with anything I wear to church 2 years later.
I told Sarah I would be in charge of the music and audio for the reception and kinda dropped the ball… BIG MISTAKE! Decide who’s job it is to find the music for your wedding. Even if you hired a DJ a lot of times they’ll ask for a playlist or at least what your style is and what you’re looking for. Don’t put this one off! You can do a little bit every day leading up to your wedding until you have a solid playlist. If you put this off you’ll end up with YMCA and multiple line dances. Nobody wants that. Take a little bit of stress off your sweet bride. A lot of times you won’t know how to help, but music is one thing that is easy!
We all know it’s your responsibility to pick your groomsmen. Your fiancé will probably already have an idea of how many bridesmaids she’ll have. Just match that number and go with it!
In our experience working the wedding industry, groomsmen are wild. They’re your best friends all together with alcohol mixed in. Set expectations for them to not get crazy! (Ok a little bit crazy is ok, just not overboard… and by overboard I mean blackout drunk by 2 pm). Remind them that as much as you guys want to have fun, things still need to get done! Pro tip: Make sure they know it’s their job to decorate the getaway car.. most guys don’t know that hahah.
Make it fun for your groomsmen by getting them gifts. This can really be whatever you want, typically the groom will get them matching ties, suspenders, flasks, or cigars. Do you.
If it’s your responsibility to get your ring don’t wait till the last minute! It might not fit right and you’d risk losing it on your wedding day! That would be awful! You can go fancy at a jeweler, or just hit up amazon (again order early cause chances are it’ll be the wrong size on the first go around).
Your bride has been planning the entire wedding day down to the reception, luncheon and ceremony her entire life. You’re left to plan what happens after the wedding! Your honeymoon is one of the most important parts of your wedding! It’s the time you get to relax and get rid of all the stress that comes with a wedding. Go hard for your honeymoon. We went on a cruise and it was amazing! You don’t have to worry about anything and you can literally do whatever you want whenever you want! Whatever you end up doing plan in some easy relaxation time.
It’s Her Day
It’s also your day, but mostly her day, you’re just a long for the ride. Tend to your soon to be wife, make sure she eats, drinks and is feeling good! Do whatever she needs you to do! Do what you can to take some stress off of her! And just as my personal advice to you- HYPE UP YO GURL. Seriously. Tell her she’s beautiful and how happy you are to be marrying her! You’ll learn this quick; happy wife, happy life. (Okay, Sarah says happy spouse happy house, but we all know that the women get the final say.)
Steer clear of bridesy stuff such as:
She’s probably had an idea of each of these ever since she knew what a wedding was. Stay out of her way ? BUT be helpful when she asks for your advice. You are just as much a part of the day as her. If she needs your opinion, be present and answer. Don’t overthink things. Good luck, bro!