June 23, 2017 –
OH MY GOSH YOU’RE ENGAGED! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!
but like, ____________ (insert something NOT uplifting)
I got this all. the. time.
At first people are so excited for you!…..followed by wide eyes that scream “this kid is an idiot”.
To me, being married was what I dreamed of since I could form my first thought. Being engaged is cool! You get to marry your sweetheart! You’re so excited, this is the happiest time of your life…. so when people follow their “congratulations” with the ever so beloved “BUUUUUUT” it kinda kills the mood.
“That’s so exciting! You’re engaged!
BUUUUUUUT aren’t you a little young?
BUUUUUUUT do you even know what you’re getting yourself into?
BUUUUUUUT you haven’t even lived your life yet
BUUUUUUUT it’s so hard….
BUUUUUUUT you’re in store for a reality check
BUUUUUUUT wait till the bills come
BUUUUUUUT money is gonna be so tight”.
You see what I mean? You kinda have to laugh, cringe and say “thanks for that… I’m gonna go run away now”.
I GET IT. ITS NOT GONNA BE A WALK IN THE PARK! Odds are, if you’re engaged you’ve probably already talked and thought about all of those statements, and the last thing you want to hear is someone else telling these to you and just making you discouraged.
While you’re engaged, that’s the time where you NEED support. I basically needed revalidated every two seconds that everything was gonna be okay and that it would all work out. When people would tell me the “but” statements it made me sad! It made me feel like my fairy tale dream wasn’t possible!
We live in a world where marriage isn’t as common as it once was. To each their own! But for some, being married is the ultimate goal. So when someone is so close to reaching that goal…
DON’T DISS IT. DONT TELL THEM IT WON’T WORK. DON’T MAKE THEM FEEL BAD!!!!!
Sometimes I just had to step back and think “maybe in a weird kinda way they’re trying to give me advice?” So, if you’re guilty of a “But” statement, maybe try approaching your advice differently.
No one wants to take advice that comes from fear.
Ex. “Ha! Good luck…You better work hard, marriage is tough.”
People (especially young people about to make the biggest decision of their life!!!!!) need advice that comes from love.
Ex. “Being married is such a blessing, it’s not always easy and takes work but it’s always worth it”.
I so so soooo wish more people would have been more encouraging of marriage during my engagement. Sure, marriage may be difficult and it doesn’t always work out, but that doesn’t mean it’s automatically not for you, or anyone else simply because you’re scared or had a bad experience. Marriage can be beautiful and fun and everything you ever hoped for!
People who are engaged need more encouragement than they need warnings.
If you know someone who is engaged, just be sincerely happy for them.
Now that I’m past being engaged and FINALLY in the married stage, let me tell you cute engaged couples:
MARRIAGE IS AWESOME! Snuggling with your honey while eating dinner and laughing at your favorite Netflix show is what it’s all about! Realizing that you always have someone to talk to and who loves you unconditionally is the best feeling in the world.
I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU! You are about to embark on the most amazing, fun-filled and loving adventure in your life. CONGRATULATIONS! ?